September 2010 Issue --> Relationship Article
6 Great Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
By: Sophie Hayes


One thing vital to any successful relationship is trust. If you can to improve trust you will be a happy couple. The funny thing is that the things we often consider will work end up having the opposite effect. So, what can you do? Use any of these six tips to help you build trust in a relationship.

1) "Spice things up?" That's what your friends will tell you do at the first sign of trouble. While this may work in sometimes, it may not be the best course of action if you are trying to gain more trust from your partner. What often works is being predictable. That's because it goes hand in hand with prior expectations. It's easier to trust somebody if you have some idea of what they will do in certain situations. That's what we're talking about here. You don't have to be a boring, mindless machine, but do try to have some level of predictability.

2) Congruity just a fancy way of saying that you should say what you mean and mean what you say. No matter how good you think you are at relaying something, if you don't really feel that way your body language will not match. Criminologists who specialize in lie detection are trained to spot these incongruities. If they can do it, how much better will your partner be at it? After all, they know you much better. Nobody likes a phony. So be sure your body language matches your words if you want to build trust in a relationship.

3) Try to give to get. Ever wish your partner could trust you more? There's one sure way to make that happen, and it is by trusting them first. It does not matter if you think you're more trustworthy or not. It is incredibly difficult to trust somebody who doesn't trust you. Believe in your partner. Try to catch your significant other telling the truth, and also operate from the expectation that they are telling the truth in the first place.

4) Make yourself an open book. Keeping secrets is a form of dishonesty and will be counterproductive to building trust. If it helps, assume your partner will find out eventually anyway; so they may as well learn the truth from you. Simple.

5) Work out what you need. Your partner is not a mind reader. You have to be clear as to what your needs are, what you want, and so on. It's also important to assert yourself when you need to. Again, don't leave it to your partner to guess.

6) Grow as a couple. A relationship needs the right kind of care and cultivation for it to survive. Go through new experiences, good or bad and be there for each other. By doing this you will deepen the level of trust in your relationship. Decide that it is indeed important to build trust in a relationship and work as a couple to ensure this happens. This will make you both stronger and much happier.

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